Sometimes, being away from the ppl closest to u requires a hell lot of sacrifice ... sacrifices to the bonds, the relationship, the things to talk about, remembering the smell, the looks, communication, interests shared, gossips shared and even, secrets shared.
Ever since coming over to Dublin, i havent really been keeping in close contact with most people back home. One of those which are of course, my own family.. I have only spoken to Ama like 3 times, in almost 3 months! n my ah chea, not very often too ... i'm sure i can count d times wif my fingers = less than 10 times ! i havent said a word to my other relatives, cousins, uncles, aunties, whoever extended families...
N then it comes to my former colleagues ... hrm, MSN once or twice with those from ViTrox. but then again, life is kinda hectic here, not in terms of running around, but spending so much time sitting around that when the opportunity strikes to communicate, I just dont feel like it (no offense) but the mentally exhausting feeling just blocks the motor neurons to click (that doesnt sound right scientifically!) and pay attention to some ppl's updates that I cant even see for myself, just so much of hearing whos quitting n who came in, whos working slow or not working at all.. over at KUMON, i seriously haf NOT SPOKEN or TYPED a single word to them ... sometimes i wonder, should i just giv them a buzz or the usual email thingy... but till now, i still havent gotten myself to do it yet. which is quite bad actually. maybe someday..
KDU ? i guess thats d worst lah! even when i was in pg i already hardly keep in touch wif them, so maybe its not really one of my main priorities right now ... CGL ? hrmm ... well, only the closest ones. but then again, how often is that? time difference.. those gals in aussie are back in Pg, slurping on all the good food, in the circle of their own familiarity ... come to think of it, the only person whom i chat to most is pau, n pau, u noe it urself, that those chats werent very often either. amanda ... i kinda feel us drifting apart, n really apart ... she's busy there in IMU and more often than not, when we see each other online, we hardly even speak cos, i guess theres nothing much to talk about ? she doesnt noe nuts about my friends here and i do noe abit of her frens there, but of cos i dunno them personally so ... there goes la. n her birthday just passed, about 2 weeks ago. of cos i feel really happy for her, cos her friends were there to give her surprises one after next, but i just dont feel the enthusiasm, cos i was obviously not there to feel it.
so i guess maybe these are d sacrifices i had to make, being apart from everyone back home. las nite, ejian and pau was just updating me wif the whereabouts of some other ppl n gossiped abit, as usual, and yeah, i missed a whole lot of it. at the same time, exams r so near, that i really cant MSN much, but because of the little time we spend together, i thought 3 hrs of talking wont do much harm to the grades.. n to u who's reading this, nope, i'm not feeling emo or anything, i'm alrite ... i just thought i'd blogged something to remind myself of the people at home, like an opportunity to say sorry if i havent been replying ur msn msgs or saying that i'm busy n cant talk. it hurts me more like a thorn in the heart or a stab wound to lose contact with u all than u all to me ... again, i'm NOT emo !
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