Birthday Wish

As of now.. 12.40 am GMT +0.00, 28th February 2008..
i am, 21.

but i am however a confused person..
i was presented a plate of banana brownies just this afternoon shaped in the letter 'J' with 3 candles. and i was, caught unaware! we were eating in the student centre and i was happily chewing away my usual Meal 7 Chicken Ciabata until a whole group of them came singing the Happy Birthday song. the 27th Feb is my other classmate, Eugene's birthday as well and i happily joined in serenading the song until it came to the part - Happy Birthday to JAMIE ~ n i realised i was the ONLY ONE saying ~ to EUGENE.. omg, malufying episode! but they brought in a second plate of brownie for Eugene too. n then, it was time to blow off the candles.

oops.
i dint know what to wish for.
i'm confused - can i only make ONE wish or endless wishes?
but i havent thought of any..
and the wax was melting..
i scrambled through my thoughts.
time IS running out.
but wat?
no, i cant make the wrong wish rite?
n then..
i think, i THINK, my brain formed some jumbled up wish which went -
*~~~~~~~~~*
(not supposed to tell ppl my wish)
which i think, wasnt a wish anyway.
i hope the gods wont take it/them accounted for.

tonite, before i close my eyes n go to bed, i'll think up the ONE most important special wish that will maybe change the 21st year of my life in a huge, radical, great, who-knows-romantic, crazy, fruitful, smart, substantial, academic, health, wealth, wise, fun, other-adjectives fashion.

happy birthday to me.

A Messsage to Someone Who Shares My Birthdate

Dear Ah Phor,

As i sit here writing u this letter, u are now in our living room listening to the god-damn same song from ur ipod for the past few days. sometimes i really wonder if there is anything wrong with ur hearing because, every time u switch on ur loud music u seem to think that its well, not loud and hence does not piss the crap out of us 3 other hsemates. and i noticed very well that starting Sem 2, u have a change of taste for music. Las sem, u repeatedly listened to those from High School Musical (HSM) 1 and 2, Britney's Gimme More, Leona Lewis's Bleeding Love, James Blunts' 1973 and many other techno clubbing-like music such as Timbaland's The Way I Are. Heck, u even killed my liking for a particular song in HSM1 - When There Was Me & You by Venessa Hudgens. But i forgive you for that because that song only brings out the emo-ness in me. Also, everytime i hear Gimme More or Bleeding Love being played anywhere else, my autonomic nervous system becomes instantly annoyed and irritated. Oh well, this sem, u have become somewhat more sentimental. U start listening and singing to the tunes of Dont Cry For Me Argentina and many other super slow love song cum oldies which titles i cant remember off hand right now. Although I HAVE TO agree that u have a good voice hence the potential to become an Irish Idol, it is absoloutely none of my concern. I am only concerned about the rate of how i am going, reading kidneys and rib cages and judging from the fact that this rate is so lagging because i cant concentrate with a background music, i just cant thank u enough for it.

Well, my dear Ah Phor, considering we share the same birthdate, there might be some percentage of possibility that we can communicate through telepathy? If u have any 'heart' problems relating to love and relationships, u can always talk to me. Or, if u've been feeling a little lonely, which explains also why this year u have been inviting ur whole bunch of friends of say about 6 of them in total over ever so often like at least 3 times a week, u could also share this feeling with me. I have an absolutely suitable partner for u. Our dai-dai has a stalker by the name of John who lives on the 2nd floor and he has a passion for techno music which explains the frequent blaring of sounds our neighbour has been complaining of too. We could set u both up on a blind date and if things jet off with much chemistry and fireworks, pls dont forget to thank us for our kindness and generosity.

Thinking again about ur hearing, u must now be very well aware of how loud voices can be especially when the door to the living room is open or there are people talking in the hallway. las nite, jie-jie n i were talking incessantly outside ur room at 1am about how a guy pulled open my window n stole a pack of jelly belly at 3.30 am n ran away while i was still wide awake, u opened ur door, showed ur sleepy face and told us to keep quiet. if u havent realised, i could do the same to u as well.

My dear Ah Phor, i really dont mean to hurt your feelings or anything with this letter, if u ever read them! which i dont think u will, because my blogger address is not shared to the world. so i guess this is more of a site for venting my frustration on u. pls forgive me for only understanding about 25% of what u say most of the time - ur accent is seriously too thick for me to handle. also, forgive me for writing this letter to you. u noe that i still love u, no matter what, from the bottom of my heart.. and i never meant a single day to hurt ur feelings. and oh, thanks a million for the Cadbury Roses chocolate u gave jie-jie n i for xmas.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH PHOR ~!~!~!

xoxo,
Gor-gor

sticky

Just a sticky to remind meself of the latest must-watch chic flicks -

1) the accidental husband

2) definitely, maybe

3) 27 dresses

4) Juno

5) The Nanny Diaries (just finished d movie)

6) The Bucket List

not the chic-flicks :

7) In Bruges

8) Love In The Time of Cholera

9) Lust, Caution

10) Stardust (wanted to watch this AEONS ago but just never did manage to get to it, i SHALL make a point then to make this number 10 my number 1 priority)

'remission'

i have lost all interest in blogging, at the moment.
(well at least today)

till we meet again!

if u love someone of the same sex ...

right, before i even start typing this post, i just wanna say i really hope i wont offend anyone with what i am gonna say.. and that this post is not intended for anyone specifically. i'm merely expressing my curiosity to the wonders of the G world..

just this afternoon, i was browsing thru pictures of a friend in facebook. n then, i started to realise one thing - the friend that i knew since kindy, well we kinda lost touch in between after that but met again somewhere in our teenhood, is well, gay. like huh? n i mean the real gay not the highschool 'i admire my senior' kinda infatuation gay. how come all this time we spent together in the group never gave me the impression that he is one..? and as shock as i am, i clarified this with another friend and yup, its official.. and it had been like wat, 2 years since his parents knew so all this while.. oh my god.. i cant imagine.. n my problem here is not him being gay.. but oh my god, thank goodness i never flirted with him!

but theres one thing i might add... gays make women's best friend. really. u see, any straight guy, well hardly any straight guys are willing to follow gals go shopping, helping them choose the beautiful dress or the perfect stilettos, then never complain a single minute of it but in fact enjoys every second of the outing.. they are sensitive to a gal's needs and understand them inside out. in every way, they seem to be the gentleman of every gal's dreams. but theres only one problem - gays will NEVER fall in love with girls. what a waste right?

well, i'm curious.. what exactly goes thru the minds of gays? do they wish their body is different? or isit just their mind telling them .. i love someone of the same sex? how would they be high n make love, when their partners have exactly the same organ parts as they do? how do they even make love? anal sex? but thats not quite possible with two female right?

when do they actually discover they have no interest for someone the opposite gender? and say, if they havent come out public about it yet, how do they reject the advances of the opposite sex?

i guess... these are just part of the wonders of the universe. a part yet to be fully discovered.

and then, there is this highschool 'i admire my senior' infatuation scenario.. i personally find it rather amusing cos coming from an all-girls school for 11 years, i've had my fair shares of stories of it and i might add humbly, experiences as well. not experiences of admiring seniors but experiences of being admired. omg! thinking about it now, its just hillarious.. i must have looked like a 'taikor' back then to have attracted that amount.. but as crazy as everything seems, i kinda regret not playing along in the game - everytime i find out someone *ahem* me, i just stopped talking to the person.. cos omg, i have no idea how to communicate with a person who stares at u from the back so much, knows ur address and mails cards to u ever so often and has ur HOUSE telephone number to call u occasionally to ask u out for movies! its just, awkward..

ok, so what goes thru the minds of these people with that sort of infatuation? say if the person they admire is a girl, do they wish they were a guy, so that the girl will have a chance to return their infatuation? or how do they start 'admiring' the target? wait, i think thats a stupid question. its almost as if i'm asking 'how does a gal start liking a guy?'

ah, never mind!

* Peyton + Lucas = True Love Always *

omg. omg. omg.
lucas asked lindsey to marry him!
WITH THE RING HE USED TO PROPOSED TO PEYTON
why? why?
thats not supposed to happen...


right?
* Peyton + Lucas = True Love Always *

urgh, i wish i could go straight to LA, meet up with the writers and producers of One Tree Hill, have a lil chat over a meal wif them and find out once and for all, is LUCAS EVER GONNA BE WITH PEYTON AGAIN ?!? speaking of which, one of the producers of OTH is a malaysian.. gosh, no wonder OTH has so much drama to it. must be her ideas, growing up watching tvb, mediacorp, k-drama or even taiwan drama - plot so slow and whole day menangis (eww!)

no..... this is killing me..
oh, just to mention, i'm proclaiming, oops no, i proclaim-ED my love to Lucas Scott. (not Chad Michael Murray but Lucas...(ehh.. i just realised, I have something for Michaels in this world wan isit?) Luke is the best fiction character ever! did i just say fiction? oh no... thats not exactly one of the best words but anyway, u see... lucas scott has one of the smexiest pair of eyes anyone can ever have on this planet. i really cant explain further unless of course if u watch the show then u'll know ..

there was a cultural diversity day in UCD so the Malaysian booth offered free henna services n free roti jala. i of course, got my henna custom made.. just for the self proclamation..

but if any of u earthlings out there has never watched OTH, i would sincerely n highly recommend u to begin watching from dear old pilot episode in Season 1. no seriously, i beg u to.. i wait patiently for every wednesday afternoon to come, n i'll switch on my dear Dell right after class just to catch it.. heck i even missed World Aid Soc meeting on the AIDS pandemic in Africa today at 5pm cos i TOTALLY n COMPLETELY forgot ALL about it even though i've been promoting the event for everyone else to go for the past few days... sigh.!

been eating quite normally these past few days. home cooked food.. i even cooked chicken curry for dinner today, my first time attempting curry.. of cos with the serbuk gulai yin ye's mum brought for everyone from penang. its that cap keretapi brand from bagan ajam.. lol! always see that factory on the way to grandma's house.. anyway, just thought i'd practice a lil food taking photography skills with the macro mode since the plate is so nice n suitable with my supposedly 'oh chien' aka oyster omelette substituted with prawns i cooked during the weekends. obviously it needs alot of improvement since u cant see any crispy nor slimy parts on the omelette..

everything else aside, i've just been feeling very malas and inspiration-less this week. hopefully everything will get better.

hugs n kisses ... for lucas. <3

Crash & Burn

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

King Whitney Junior once said, "Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better."
BUT
as Lynn Hall described in Where Have All The Tigers Gone?, "We did not change as we grew older, we just become more clearly ourselves"

Christina Rosseti once said, "Silence is more musical than any song."
In our life's journey, Martin Luther King Jr might be true that
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
BUT
as contradicting as he may be, I truly agree that "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

Pay Attention-LAH !

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. Professor Abraham Jacoby started the class by telling them, “In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.”

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. “Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, “The second most important quality is observation.

” I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.”

“Now learn to pay attention!”

Gong Xi Fa Cai

dongdong chiang dongdong chiang

happy Chinese New Year !!

this is my first year in 20 years and 11 months and 19 days,

NOT BEING ABLE TO -

1. see n hear lion dances

2. act innocent, young and being a 'shoe polisher' while accepting ANG BAOS

3. touch n play fireworks

4. eat kiam chai thng, too tor thng, jiuhu char, char tang hoon, onglai suie, seow kay, seow ark, char teochew meeteow, n sparkling juices during reunion dinner. also maybe i would miss tau eu bak, curry kay, 'the monk jump over the wall', some weird curry with everything thrown inside, pineapple tarts, kuih kapit, kuih bangkit, cornflakes cookies, prawn crackers, hehbee rolls

5. attend the long-awaited yearly affair 4th nite dinner at 8kor's inlaws where theres always eden catering's char koay teow, lobsters and lam mee

6. gamble with Lyn jiejie and gang for rounds of mahjong or 21 blackjack

7. bond with cute and super adorable nephews n nieces that i can only meet once a year like Sydney, Maximus, Brandon, Lorraine - heck, whoever lil kids that fall into the category lah!

8. go to Phor Tay temple in d morning to pay respects to ahkong n amah n definitely meet lilynn there, look at the tortoise n wonder if they ever grew every year

9. go to Mum's side's Amah on 2nd day of CNY n just chill there, wait for ang baos to come instead of going for them then drive back in the stupid long traffic jams

10. go to Kor Po's house during 1st day of CNY noon to eat their cornflakes cookies, drink their geng geng teh and act stupid sitting down listening to adults crapping n gossiping while looking at Teow Kong

11. organise and attend 5 Arif Class of 2004's annual reunion

12. have mouth watering, smacking spicy Mak Long's mamak at 5 pek's for 1st day CNY lunch

Instead,

I WILL BE -

1. going for classes as usual

2. going out to makan makan at some CHINA restaurant for reunion dinner

3. maybe going to Tripod after that for class party (maybe! depends on financial status)

4. having pot luck (i want steamboat!) on 1st CNY night (i wanna have it in my place to increase the yang energy of the house but too malas to clean up afterwards)

5. playing cards as usual but no gambling cos euro's too dangerous to gamble

6. wearing my old clothes cos nobody will even see anything under 2 layers of jacket

7. attending UCD's centre for confucius something on 2nd CNY nite for acrobatic performances

8. celebrating Jason's bday on 7th n Christine's bday on 8th so chocolate cake here I come!!

9. still finding for red papers to decorate my apartment with ang chai and fish and gold ingots

i created my own drama - II

after buying the antibiotics from the pharmacy, Sue told me she'd walk me back to Merville and boy, was i lucky there was Sue by my side. somehow, its spring today, but the weather only gets colder so for the past few days, it was really really cold. as i was walking back, i felt the - i wanna faint - feeling coming back but i told myself to stand it, Merville isnt too far away. And when we reached the road leading to Merville, we stopped. i swayed. if u asked me, i would say it was rather embarassing to be led in the middle of the road looking tired, out of place and useless. luckily, i did bathe in the morning so i dint look that bad...

as we walked further down the block, i turned to the bush. n puked. again! wat else is left in my system? nothing! oh god, why do i keep throwing out... so Sue suggested i'd just sit on one of the entrance to a house. my house 13 is just about 100 metres away, no big deal right? wrong. so i sat there, 2 secs later, and my stomach decided to throw things out again. this time, god knows wat came out - alot of liquid i would say, white, yellow (and i never had eggs for so many days). and then, my hands became numb. my legs i couldnt feel them, they're all pins n needles. n that sensation spread to all over my body... i just couldnt feel anything. i know my hands were frozen cos i couldnt move them. n before i knew it, i was already lying down on the pavement. at that point of time, only one thing struck my mind - I MUZ MOVE MY HANDS ! if blood doesnt go there, what will happen? paralysed? Nooooo... my hands are too important for me. i cant lose them. i need them. i need them for my career. i need them to look at patients. i need them if ever one day i become a cardiologist.

and somewhere faraway in my mind, i heard Sue.
"Jamie, i think u better go to the hospital. i'll call the ambulance okay?"
----
"Jamie, stay with me ok? stay with me. U muz stay with me, ok?"
----
"Sue, call Grace.. handphone.. pocket ... call Grace"
----

and everything after that was a blur to me.. Grace came. Alot of other passer-bys came. they offered their jacket to put on me. Then the ambulance came. i was brought up onto the ambulance wif a stretcher. new experience huh? Grace and Sue came along and when we reached the hospital, it was yet another long wait to be attended.



they took my blood samples, ECG, chest x-ray (new experience again - the radiology room memang damn cold wei..) and put me on 2 packs of IV fluid. like Grace said, "u dunwan drink water, they go for the painful way". as i was lying down on the bed beside Grace, i told her i hoped this whole procedure wont cost a bomb. i mean wat with ecg n xray... i'll be broke! just last Friday i heard Dr Bund telling us that its 200eur to haf an ECG at Blackrock Hospital! but as it turns out, everything was alright. i walked out SVUH without paying a single euro! how cool is that? both of us were like ... okay, lets just walk out n not say anything ... haha! n the funny part was, Grace said maybe they'll send a full invoice/bill over to my place but (=P) apparently, she accidentally gave them my wrong address..

i missed my heart dissection class today. Emily said Mikey was cool today cos he marah-ed the other noisy people from other groups when he tried to teach mine. i hope he'll be there again on this Friday when i join the other group. meanwhile, heres to me in a hope of feeling much better n kicking by Monday! *cheers*